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Girl Advice asap :)
06-10-2014, 10:17 AM
Post: #1
Girl Advice asap :)
Hi I've been seeing this girl for 2-3 weeks.. We're sexually active and I'm 29 she's 28. Things have been going great I've been staying over at hers etc.. But in the last few days her text messages have become quite blunt and less frequent, I really like her and I'm worried I've messed things up some how.. I want her to be my gf but don't know how to go about it is 2-3 wks too short to be seeing someone ? How should I go about taking this to the next level ? I texted her goodnight last night she replied 'night x' then this morning I texted her with no reply yet she's seen the message and has since liked my status on Facebook.. What's happening ? I have a weird feeling I've screwed this up ! So In effect I need advise as on how too make this girl my gf without coming across cheesey or needy ? Any help would be much appreciated pls
Regards
Daniel
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06-10-2014, 10:45 AM
Post: #2
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
First of all don't be so sure that "this is your fault". Does she know that you are really interested? Are you afraid to express yourself thinking that you might look "needy"? Maybe she thinks that you are not serious about her, and that's her way to test your feelings. That means you have to act. On the other hand maybe something else is going on with her personal life, that has nothing to do with your relationship. That means you have to keep some distance. And finally maybe its nothing at all. Figure this out and act accordingly. After all its not bad to ask what's going on, just don't push too much.

This is some food for thought, I m no expert. Hope I helped GL!
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06-10-2014, 10:54 AM
Post: #3
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
(06-10-2014 10:45 AM)ReapeR Wrote:  First of all don't be so sure that "this is your fault". Does she know that you are really interested? Are you afraid to express yourself thinking that you might look "needy"? Maybe she thinks that you are not serious about her, and that's her way to test your feelings. That means you have to act. On the other hand maybe something else is going on with her personal life, that has nothing to do with your relationship. That means you have to keep some distance. And finally maybe its nothing at all. Figure this out and act accordingly. After all its not bad to ask what's going on, just don't push too much.

This is some food for thought, I m no expert. Hope I helped GL!

Thanks buddy well I know there's nothing going on in her life.. Basicially I met her 3 weeks at my cousins wedding reception got off with her etc.. Then a few day me later my cousin (female) said that she really likes me like really.. So I was like cool.. So since then I've stayed at her house a fair few times all good.. But she's seemed to have gone a bit distant, If I havnt messed things up then I want to take this to the next step ie girlfriend... But I'm not sure what's going on... I've just messaged her 10 mins ago saying ' hey you you ok ? Good day at work babe :-) X' no reply as of yet Sad it's weird because a few days ago she was well into me.. Wtf! Ill screen shot the last few messages and upload it and make what you will of it... I really like this girl tho that's the worst bit. Thanks
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06-10-2014, 10:58 AM
Post: #4
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
[Image: E6825535-D7BC-4561-857F-737E1FE8DB45_zps051emkcp.png]
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06-10-2014, 11:23 AM
Post: #5
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Good to see you around Aesthetix!

I simply think that she is kind of testing you to see how far you will go in "chasing" her. Essentially, women want you (i.e. men) to be chasing them during the seduction phase (i.e. the first weeks of meeting and getting intimate). A girl chasing a man is thought (by them) to make them look desperate, so they will be happy to follow your lead as long as you are the one doing the chasing.

Most women want men of action in the sense that you contact her and are not ashamed to want to talk to her despite it making you look (or so it may seem) desperate. It's a bit of a mind game and it swings both ways (both men and women do it) although the extent of it will vary depending on the person.

She obviously likes you as otherwise you would not have gone this far already with you. Likewise, if she takes long to reply to a simple message that has no urgency, she may just as well be busy, but do realize that if she liked your FB status and then she went on to keep replying to you, she may think that she is giving a bit of a desperate vibe (women worry a lot about this).

If you want to be with her as in be "physically" with her, my advice is to be blunt about it. Ask something like, "do you want to meet today at X time?" instead of being vague about wanting to be with her. Show her that you want to be with her but that you are not here to waste your time (i.e. you're wasting your time right now doing all this wondering because she didn't reply to you). Being so blunt will send her a message that you are a serious dude who wants to be with her but you're also a guy who is not going to put up with wasting his time. It also shows that you're pro-active and that you truly are interested in her.

You've already been through the most difficult phase, so to speak, which is the asking out and flirting phase. You by now have confirmed that she likes you (and you have confirmed to her that you like her), so now it's time for you to make it very clear that you want her (she will feel flattered about this) but that you are a serious dude who is not to be handled around like most guys. Be aware that any remotely good looking girl can be chatting at any time with a dozen of men, and they vast majority of them will allow her to treat them like toys. If you stand out by showing her that you want her but that you are not a toy or going to allow her to waste your time, that will then send her a positive message and quite likely intensify her attraction towards you.

The above is simply my advice from experience. Mind games are always played, and it is only normal that a woman wants the man to try to be pro-active in "chasing" her (i.e. be with her). But never allow your dignity to be played with and make it clear to her. If she's any good for you, she will understand such a move/message and she will make sure to make time for any date at whatever time YOU decide.

P.S. Of course, don' be too pushy. The trick is in being pro-active and chasing her, but without being pushy. It's a tricky thing and women love a man who can find that sweet spot where they know the man wants her but he ain't going to put up with time wasting and he'll move on to the next woman.

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06-10-2014, 11:30 AM
Post: #6
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Just don't let your excitement kill it, give it some space, let her breathe and digest the events. Maybe you shouldn't have text her so soon but u did what u thought was right. Past is history, now just wait imo. Also keep in mind that she is just a girl you like, don't think of her as super hot, just cute. If you create a huge picture of her in your mind, she might look out of reach and you overreact. Be yourself, cool and confident, whatever happens is neither the end of the world nor the dream relationship (yet). Cheers
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06-10-2014, 11:31 AM
Post: #7
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Awesome advice THMF, well she's just replied saying 'hey I'm just having tea with Hayley, how are you ? X' so I havnt replied to that yet... I know what you mean tho I just don't want too come across as pushy and the advice I had off friends is to never ask them to be your girlfriend it'll just happen kinda thing. It's so annoying as I just want this official now without looking desperate lol! Cheers
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06-10-2014, 11:34 AM
Post: #8
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Should I say to her... Can we meet up this week as we need to talk.. Or is that too much ? Cheers
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06-10-2014, 12:04 PM
Post: #9
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
(06-10-2014 11:34 AM)Aesthetix29 Wrote:  Should I say to her... Can we meet up this week as we need to talk.. Or is that too much ? Cheers

No, don't say "need to talk", that's going to ring alarms to her. Just ask her about meeting some day, but specify DAY and TIME. Don't let her be the one taking control. Say, "I've got my Friday evening free, you up for meeting on Friday at 6?" and not "when would you like to meet?".

I didn't recall how far exactly you are with her. Have you kissed and been physically intimate (i.e. sex)? I was just reading your post again and I initially thought that yes, but I am not sure now. My previous reply was in case you had been intimate with her, as by now the romantic confirmation would have been done with.

Yes, been boyfriend and girlfriend will come. If it's starting to bother you, then try to be a little bit more explicit like wanting to hold hands, making love instead of just sex, caressing her and doing "cute" stuff that no man in their right mind (except when in love) would do LOL

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06-10-2014, 12:44 PM
Post: #10
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Nice1 pal... Yes I've had sex with her chill on the sofa cuddling and caressing etc.. Also held hands when we went to the park... I said in a message to her before that I'm busy tonight 'which I'm not by the way' haha just so she knows I have a life.. And I asked her if she wants to meet up tomorrow she said that's she's having tea with a friend tomorrow but will meet me afterwords with one of these at the end ☺️ Followed by a kiss... To me seems like she's interested ? I'll keep you all informed on my progress haha! Thanks THMF
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06-11-2014, 09:59 AM
Post: #11
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
(06-10-2014 12:44 PM)Aesthetix29 Wrote:  Nice1 pal... Yes I've had sex with her chill on the sofa cuddling and caressing etc.. Also held hands when we went to the park... I said in a message to her before that I'm busy tonight 'which I'm not by the way' haha just so she knows I have a life.. And I asked her if she wants to meet up tomorrow she said that's she's having tea with a friend tomorrow but will meet me afterwords with one of these at the end ☺️ Followed by a kiss... To me seems like she's interested ? I'll keep you all informed on my progress haha! Thanks THMF

Nice! Dude, if you have already been that intimate with her then you've done the hard work already and have someone who wants to be with you for sure. Then my dvice is to simply show determination: show her you want her and want to be with her but also that you are not someone to mess around mentally.

Expect you having to do some chasing as girls love that a guy shows her that he wants her/loves her, but do also show her that you are not here to be wasting time.

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06-11-2014, 12:08 PM
Post: #12
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Well you'd think so wouldn't you but I keep getting mixed signals... I text her at lunch asking if we were still on for tonight didn't get a reply... Then at 6pm got a text saying ' Sorry been dead busy just at a kids party x' to which I replied 'No worries, you ok ? Are you busy tonight ? X' to which I've had no reply and seeing as tin it's 8pm I doubt anythings gonna happen now lol.. Just don't know whether I'm coming or going... Jeez hard word or what haha!
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06-11-2014, 01:24 PM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2014 01:25 PM by ONEtime.)
Post: #13
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
TMHF's advice is spot on.

Dude, keep it light. You're pushing way too much for a meet. When she said: ''Sorry been dead busy just at a kids party x''. I would have responded with something silly like: ''Omg are you at Sally's birthday?! She didn't invite me?!'' other text right after ''6 year old girls are so mean Sad''.
I like to cut my text messages into two, it gives a more spontaneous vibe.
She would've responded with a basic answer, something along the line of ''ahahahah''. You txt back: ''WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY CLOWN OUTFIT NOW?''.

Never ask a ''are you ok?''. 99% of the time you'll get a ''yes, what about you?'' which is just super boring to her (and to you).

Anyway, everyone has a different type of game bro! Mine is to keep it playful and silly over text. Get a good vibe going. Then propose a meet.
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06-11-2014, 01:42 PM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2014 01:43 PM by ONEtime.)
Post: #14
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
And I'm glad you posted your text conversation. It gives me a great insight on what's going on.
Are you the one initiating the conversations most of the time?

Why text a girl you're already boning a good morning and talk about the weather? You are heading straight to Boredomville with that bro and she's not gonna hop on that train with you.

Don't fluff talk over the text messages.
Keep it light and playful. Tease the rats out of her. Anticipate what her answer will be and already have something funny in hand. I always aim to turn the conversation to a sexual vibe. You've already boned her so don't hesitate to do that.

Some quick examples,

Her: ''I'm always right.''
Me: ''Oh really? Who's going to win the World Cup?''

Her: ''I'm always right.''
Me: ''Last time I heard someone say that was in kindergarden''
Me: ''That weird kid who used to eat his poo.''
Me: ''You've just ruined the image I had of you, you'll have to make up for it miss''

Hardcore mode:
Her: ''I'm always right.''
Me: ''Woah, the only thing you've been right about is taking my d*** in your mouth. Don't get ahead of yourself missy''.

PS: Obviously, do not go into hardcore territory directly. It has to be a smooth escalation hehe!
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06-11-2014, 01:59 PM
Post: #15
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
And I hope I'm not coming off as mean or arrogant. I just wanted to help you by showing you another perspective of how to play the Game!
Game on playa, game on!
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06-11-2014, 10:53 PM
Post: #16
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Well this is what's happened so far.. I had a bit to drink last night and sent a stupid reply... Proper messed it up now I know I have Sad! So it gets to about 9pm last night and she messages me saying 'Hey Steph has just gone !, sorry I have not seen u.. Been a crazy week x' and I replied this 'Haha really... Thought you'd fallen out with me ? Oj LOL... Aww don't worry about it! So when can see you babe ? haha X' what a stupid text to send.. Surprise surprise no reply! Shoukd I just leave it a while and text something later like 'Good Afternoon' kicking myself for sending that ?. Cheers
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06-11-2014, 11:14 PM
Post: #17
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
No not at all ONEtime.. I appreciate it... Like I've just recieved a 'Morning text' off her... Not much to reply other than 'Morning' but I get what your saying i need to start to think of the bigger picture ?
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06-12-2014, 12:41 AM
Post: #18
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
So after that disaster last night I received a text earlier saying 'Morning' so I replied 'Morning, and how are you ?' To which she has replied 'In good thanks!' What could I reply to that ? Need to start being funny and cheeky.... Any advice would be appreciated ? Cheers
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06-12-2014, 08:56 AM (This post was last modified: 06-12-2014 08:57 AM by ONEtime.)
Post: #19
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
bro, why did you respond with ''morning, and how are you?''

You're again using the pattern that I pointed out earlier that doesn't lead to anything entertaining.
She's obviously going to respond with ''good you?'' and where do you go from there? did something interesting happen? did that spike her interest? Nope. At some point, she'll get bored of the usual fluff-talk and just not respond. Be creative, think outside the box.

And you seem to be caring way too much about that girl bro. That's a bad mindset. You'll feel like you're walking on eggs and hesitate to do original things in fear of ''she might take it the wrong'' or be offended.

Don't second guess yourself, send her random fun stuff.
You've already boned her, who the f*** cares at that point. Keep it light and playful.
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06-12-2014, 09:00 AM
Post: #20
RE: Girl Advice asap :)
Plenty of stuff you could send her to initiate a conversation.
Where are you from?
World cup just started today.
Talk about that.
Not in a boring way. I have nothing in mind as I have an exam to prepare and I haven't slept, but I'm sure you'll find something!
And have a game plan before starting the conversation so that after 2-3 text messages you have a meet up set up to watch one of the games at your house.
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